What if Our Fashion Was Based in Community?

Capsule wardrobes are dumb. Community-rooted wardrobes, however...

Custom-made jeans, a vintage belt, a shirt dress that was a gift from a dear friend, a made-to-order wool coat, a cashmere turtleneck I bought in Milan on recommendation from a local, and Italian-made boots I saw on someone six years ago and bought for myself.

Here’s the list of fashion items I’ve bought since the beginning of 2025:

• One vintage, fuzzy, alpaca and merino cardigan. I was wandering around Woodstock, NY this weekend with an old friend I hadn’t seen in two years, and we walked into a vintage store. I picked up the sweater, cooing, and she said, “Do you want me to facilitate this?” I nodded. She said, “It’s gorgeous and I think you should get it.” An employee came over and whispered to me that she would give me 20% off. I got the sweater. I’m wearing it now. (She talked me out of a sweatshirt later that day.)

• One jiu jitsu gi. I’ve been going to jiu jitsu since November, and a few weeks ago the instructor told me that it was time I got my own gi (a cotton jacket and pants) instead of continuing to borrow the studio’s. He sent me links to three quality companies, and I bought a forest green cotton set from a New York City-based brand known for its quality and reasonable prices.

• New leather and rubber hiking boots. My hiking boots finally gave up after ten years of use. I did a bunch of research on Reddit in the fall and came up with a list of brands to try, but I never had time to go to try them on in person. I mentioned this to a friend, and he revealed he gets 40% off at certain outdoor brands, and offered to order me some resolable boots. They’re on their way now.

• One vintage wool skirt. I would guess that this plaid pleated skirt, which called to me from the end of the rack in the local vintage store, is from the 1960s. I paid $2 for it.

You know what I haven’t bought? Anything from an internet ad, a promotional newsletter, or an influencer. Anything from Amazon, Quince, Shein, or Temu. Any impulse buys, or anything after two glasses of wine. Anything that I immediately regretted or tipped me over my budget.

And I feel amazing. I feel all the things you want to feel when you’re in a great outfit: fashionable, accepted, comfortable, and competent. I also feel very proud that I’ve only bought about one thing per month.

I could tell you all the individual tips and strategies to avoid impulse purchases, things like unsubscribing from newsletters and unfollowing influencers, trying on things in the store, keeping a list, and organizing my closet. But really, if I could tell you anything about how I finally vanquished the last vestiges of an unhealthy fashion addiction, I think it comes down to this:

My fashion choices are now about being in community.